Struggles with my weight

I, like millions of Americans, struggle with my weight.  I'm not going to list it here, but as a guy who's around 5 and a half feet tall, I shouldn't weigh as much as I do.  I have been this way for a good chunk of my adult life, and I'm so beyond sick and tired of it.  I'm going to go over what I think caused my weight gain, why I haven't been able to lose it so far, and the steps I'm going to take to try to finally lose it.  

It started when I was working in retail at a grocery store.  I look at old pictures of me shortly after I started working there and wish my face were that skinny again.  When I left five years ago, I had gained somewhere around 40-50 pounds at least.  

Working retail and dealing with customers is, as anyone who has ever done it, very stressful.  And how did I handle that stress?  By eating.  And not eating healthily.  I'd eat deli food very often on my lunch breaks, from their China Express meals to deli sandwiches.  I'd also eat snacks sometimes on my breaks in order to help with stress, then, too.  I also hardly ever drank water to accompany meals (although I always brought a water bottle to work).  I'd often get sodas, sugary teas, or energy drinks.  

What also didn't help was that a group of us from work would go to a 24/7 diner like Denny's or Sherri's after work.  This would likely be after midnight, since we'd have to wait for the latest person to get off, which was often midnight.  Then I would get an unhealthy meal there, EVEN though I had already had dinner that night.  At the very least, I'd get something sweet to indulge in, and I'd go to bed soon after getting home, so I wouldn't be able to burn any of that off.  So that's how I gained weight.  My job mostly was standing in one spot, so I wasn't able to burn too many calories. 

So why haven't I lost any since then?  Well, it's complicated.  I did get to a point where I was taking a brief jog in the mornings, which did help.  I lost close to 15 pounds.  But then I stopped.  I'm not exactly sure why.  I've tried various workout routines and whatnot to negligible results.  I also have trouble controlling what I eat.  I have been fortunate to have the time to grocery shop several times a week, so I often buy things I don't need.  And I hate to waste food, so I'll eat unhealthy food rather than throwing it away.

It was also easier to job at our previous apartment.  There'd hardly be anyone out and about in the early morning when I typically jogged.  At our new place, there are more people, and we live on a busier road, and I get self-conscious when people see me jog.  I can't help it, especially at my current weight.  Ironically, I'd be less (if at all) self-conscious if I were already at my ideal weight.

One thing I thought might help is my job at Amazon.  It requires moving packages and at least 10,000 steps each shift.  However, it hasn't so far.  I think I've built some muscle working there, which doesn't help with losing weight, but I do believe I have a little less fat than I used to.  I'm just not lighter.

The steps I'm going to take to lose weight are going to be gradual.  I'm slowly increasing how much physical activity I get, at least in the mornings.  I'm trying to cut out sugary drinks such as coffee (with creamer), soda, and energy drinks.  I'm trying to either skip meals (only if I'm not hungry) or eat less more often.  I also tend to eat more when I'm bored and have nothing to do, so I plan to find other ways to keep myself busy.  

It's not going to be easy.  I hate that my New Year's resolution every year is to lose weight, because I never accomplish it.  I want to impress my friends and family so bad, but when it comes time to make a decision regarding food/exercise, I often make the wrong one.  I simply need to make better decisions more often.  I'm so tired of being overweight, chubby, and not as athletic as I used to be.  I'm ready for a change.