Welcome to the first and only ever Survivor Beauty awards! If you found this post, you probably also saw the Survivor's Hottest Females by Season post I did, where I named the two best-looking women on each season of Survivor.
For this, I will nominate five women for each category and then pick a winner. Categories will include "Nicest Smile", "Best Ass", "Best personality" and of course, "Best Jugs".
My prerequisites are this:
- No two nominees for an award are allowed from the same season.
- No two nominees for an award are allowed to be the same person (i.e. Parvati from Micronesia, Parvati from Heroes vs. Villains)
- Nominees have to be one of the two hottest from their season that I selected
All right, our first award is... Best smile! Let's start off nice, shall we?
The nominees are:
Parvati, Cook Islands
Michelle, Fiji
Alexis, Micronesia
Paloma, Gabon
Brenda, Nicaragua
And the award goes to....
Brenda! She's got a smile that melts my heart.
Our second award is for... hottest lips! Whose lips would any guy love to kiss and make out with?
The nominees are:
Liliana, Fiji
Jaime, China
Brenda, Nicaragua
Natalie, Redemption Island
Morgan, Cagayan
And the award goes to...
Jaime! She's got a nice full pair... of lips!
Our third award is for... hottest Asian? Yes, hottest chick of Asian descent.
The nominees are:
Shii-Ann, Thailand
Michelle, Fiji
Peih-Gee, China
Brenda, Nicaragua
Bi, David vs. Goliath
And the award goes to...
Peih-Gee! Didn't see that one coming, did you?
Our fourth award is for best petite body. Who would be most fun to toss around on a bed?
The nominees are:
Paloma, Gabon
Natalie, Samoa
Parvati, Heroes vs. Villains
Stephanie, Redemption Island
Baylor, San Juan Del Sur
The award goes to...
Paloma! Bit of a dark horse there, but she won! Side note, she's had 3 or 4 kids and still looks PHENOMENAL.
Our fifth award is for most beautiful eyes. Whose eyes could be stared into forever?
The nominees are:
Darrah, Pearl Islands
Amber, All-Stars
Danni, Guatemala
Corinne, Gabon
Natalie, Samoa
Wow, quite the variety. We got some blue, green, hazel, and brown, I believe. The award goes to...
Corinne! She was the only one I really that I commented on their eyes. Very pretty blues ones, she has. Speak like Yoda, I guess I must.
Our sixth award is for hottest blonde. Oh boy, this is a doozy.
The nominees are:
Heidi, Amazon
Jaime, China
Natalie, Samoa
Katie, Blood vs. Water
Julia, Kaoh Rong
The award goes to...
Julia! She was equal parts cute, adorable, hot, and sexy. She's my perfect blonde IMO.
Our seventh award is for best ass. You knew I was going to mention this.
The nominees are:
Julie, Vanuatu
Brenda, Nicaragua
Alicia, One World
Morgan, Cagayan
Michele, Kaoh Rong
Quite the variety. Who wins, though?
The award goes to...
Michele! Alicia was a close second, but Michele's best feature is easily her butt.
Our eighth award is for best hair. Whoever wins this had their hair stand up to the test of surviving in the wild with no hair care products. Pretty much all women have to wear their hair up, but it still can look fairly decent.
The nominees are:
Neleh, Marquesas
Natalie, Micronesia
Natalie, Samoa
Natalie, Redemption Island
Kara, David vs. Goliath
Wow, three Natalie's nominated. Will any of them win? The award goes to...
Kara! Her hair looked good up or down (especially down), and it still looked good the day she lost the fire-making challenge, which was day 38.
Our ninth award is for... best personality. Who, on personality alone during their time playing, would anyone want to date?
The nominees are:
Amber, All-Stars
Stephenie, Palau
Michelle, Fiji
Natalie, Samoa
Jessica, Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers
Some awfully sweet girls there. But only one can win. The award goes to...
Natalie! Her sweet southern charm won over the Galu tribe and won her the title of Sole Survivor.
Our tenth award is hottest over 30. These women all were not just beautiful, but hot on their season despite being older than a lot of other females on their season. The nominees are:
Ami, Vanuatu
Laura, Blood vs. Water
Julie, San Juan Del Sur
Peih-Gee, Cambodia
Parvati, Winners at War
None of these women looked as old as they actually were. Who looked best for their age, though? The winner is...
Laura! She not only was a mom on her season, she was a freaking grandmother. And she looked AMAZING. The rest of the women looked great as well, but Laura was the one who looked more younger than her actual age than anyone else.
Our eleventh award is... best boobs! You know this was going to be here, and boy is it a doozy. The nominees are:
Sarah, Marquesas
Ashlee, Palau
Danielle, Panama/Exile Island
Katie, Blood vs. Water
Morgan, Cagayan
There's some awesome jugs there. Some probably have been enhanced by plastic surgery, but that's a testament to how well the surgery went. But the winner is...
Morgan! They appear to be all natural and holy cow are they massive. I think most guys would agree they are the perfect size, as any larger would be too big.
Our twelfth award is for hottest obscure player! This award is for a girl that doesn't appear hot at first glance, but she is quite the fox in the right light and getting to know her. The nominees are:
Darrah, Pearl Islands
Alexis, Micronesia
Semhar, South Pacific
Dawson, Philippines
Julia, Caramoan
Every one of these girls I didn't really notice her attractiveness until my 2nd time watching through the season. The winner is....
Julia! I barely noticed her on my first viewing, but on my second viewing, I actually developed a crush on her! What can I say, I like pale chicks.
Our thirteenth award is for best skin! Who has skin that withstood the elements the best and looks the smoothest? The nominees are:
Brenda, Nicaragua
RC, Philippines
Semhar, South Pacific
Morgan, Cagayan
Michaela, Millennials vs. Gen X
A wide variety of skin tones there. The winner is...
Brenda! I would love to know her skin care regime.
Our fourteenth award is for best legs! Whose legs are perfectly sized, toned, and sexy? The nominees are:
Stephenie, Palau
Natalie, Samoa
RC, Philippines
Katie, Blood vs. Water
Michaela, Millennials vs. Gen X
Generally a lot of long, sexy legs there. Who has the best pair? The winner is...
RC! I'd be silly not to pick her for something.
Our fifteenth award is for hottest lady of African descent. There have been plenty of African-American women on Survivor, but only a handful have drawn my interest. The nominees are:
Sundra, Cook Islands
Candace, Tocantins
Semhar, South Pacific
Michaela, Game Changers
Ali Elliott, Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers
Some wide variety there. Two who made it fairly far, and three who were booted early. But who will win? The winner is...
Semhar! She may have been a first boot, but she made an impression with me.
Our sixteenth award is hottest religious chick. Who did we see that was passionate about their faith, and who is the hottest of the bunch?
Jaime, China
Natalie, Samoa
Baylor, San Juan Del Sur
Andrea, Game Changers
Jessica, Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers
Mostly blonde chicks, interesting... The winner is...
Baylor! She didn't show her religion too much, which I appreciated. Eh, what can I say, I wanted to give Baylor some love.
Our seventeenth award is one of my favorites. It's for favorite THICCC chick. I must clarify, these chicks are NOT fat. They are thick, curvy, and sexy. There's not a single part of me that thinks ANY of them need to lose weight. The nominees are:
Ashlee, Palau
Sophie, South Pacific
Alicia, One World
Katie, Blood vs. Water
Peih-Gee, Cambodia
I really had to struggle to find some of these. The winner may surprise you. It is....
Peih-Gee! She was thicker in her second appearance than her first appearance in China, and I sure appreciated it!
Our eighteenth award is for hottest accent. Whose accent just melts my heart?
Elisabeth, Australian Outback
Darrah, Pearl Island
Jaime, China
Natalie, Samoa
Jessica, Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers
Basically all southern accents except for one (Elisabeth). But who has the best? The winner is...
Natalie! Her accent shown through and through her entire season and was definitely one of Natalie's most appealing attributes. Darrah was a close second.
Our nineteenth award is for hottest chick from the Pacific Northwest! Yes, I have to honor my home region. And there were enough from the beautiful PNW. The nominees are:
Lindsey, Africa
Brianna, Guatemala
Laura, Blood vs. Water
Kelley, Cambodia
Michelle, Millennials vs. Gen X
So who personifies the beautiful Pacific Northwest? The winner is...
Michelle! She isn't largely remembered, but she's such a brunette beauty.
All right, time for our TWENTIETH and final award. This award is for most desirable chick. Basically, the chick I'd most want to date. So if I know someone is in a relationship/married, they cannot be nominated here. Also, it will help if they have somewhat of a social media presence. Who is my all-time favorite? The nominees are:
Corinne, Gabon
Julia, Kaoh Rong
Andrea, Game Changers
Bi, David vs. Goliath
Victoria, Edge of Extinction
Wow, some impressive ladies there. I'm going to do this by eliminating them one by one. The first one eliminated is...
Corinne. She's older than me (by exactly 10 years), and she's too much of a party chick for my liking.
The next one gone is....
Andrea. She's dated guys that are clearly superior to me. I'd constantly feel inferior with her.
The next one gone is....
Bi. I didn't pick her as hottest of her season, but also would I be comfortable dating an MMA fighter, knowing she could kick my ass? I love you, Bi, but sorry.
We are down to Julia and Victoria. The blonde vs. the redhead. This was a tough call. Julia is cuter and she's more my type, but Victoria is so downright sexy and she's more active on social media. Anyway, my choice is...
JULIA! She's literally my dream woman. I could see myself doing anything to make her happy.
Anyway, that's all I have for now. Might update this if Survivor starts re-airing.
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