So, on this blog I post a bit about work at Safeway, and this will be no different. However, I'm going more in depth and making more than just a list of some kind. I've been put in a position at work that I'm not happy with, and there's not a whole lot I can do. There are a few things I can do, but they all have reasons why not to do them. I'll explain later.
At the end of October/beginning of November our previous front end manager quit and got another job. I was her backup at the time. I had previously told her that I didn't like doing the position, but she kept me as her backup anyway. After she left, I was thrust into the role of doing the front end manager position five days a week, a shift I didn't even like doing two days a week. Apparently, I do too good of a job at it.
Why don't I like it? It's stressful at times for one. Even just falling behind on giving people breaks stresses me out (maybe not as much as it used to). But the stressful part is having to deal with situations and customers that I either A) Don't know how to resolve too well or B) Give me anxiety because it is THAT stressful. But I think I could handle that if I had to. The biggest reason I'd say I don't like it is the hours. 10-7. EVERY DAY. Well every day you work that is. That's 9 hours of your day, not counting the couple hours of getting ready, transportation, etc. I even have to stay late sometimes because someone called out sick or it's really busy (fall behind on breaks). I just hate those hours because it doesn't give me a ton of time to do anything else that particular day. I wake up, get ready for work then go to work. I get home, I eat dinner, and then before I know it, it's 9 o'clock and I'm drowsy. Welp, there went my ENTIRE FRICKEN DAY.
I must add that I was not asked to fill in my previous front end manager's position. I was not asked if it was ok if I filled in while they found a full-time replacement. I was only asked to take the position officially, which I have repeatedly declined.
So, I'm going to make a list of what you might be suggesting I do. Here they are:
1) Ask to not get scheduled as FEM anymore
2) Find another job/quit
3) Do such a bad job at FEM that they have no choice but to demote you.
Here's why I have yet to do any of those three:
1) Our store doesn't have many other options for the position. The two people who have been covering my days off would not want to do it five times, and I'm pretty sure one of them would quit if forced to do it five days a week. The other does too many other things including night Person in Charge. Also, if I were to ask to not be scheduled, they don't have to listen to me.
2) I have been looking at other jobs, actually. I have applied for four so far I think, but none have gotten back to me. I'd apply for more, but I have limited time and most of my time is spent looking for something that suits me well. I also don't want to quit before finding another job, because I don't want to be unemployed and I need a stable income.
3) I have kinda tried doing this. But I do care about our store, having worked there over nine years. I made a silly intercom announcement that pissed my manager off, but that's it. I've ignored what they've asked me to do. My managers keep insisting that I make my checkers ask for hunger bag donations for the needy and that I ask myself, but I refuse to do so. Doesn't matter. I feel like the action required to get demoted from FEM would also be bad enough to be suspended/terminated, and I can't risk that. I've started being late recently, but only my head bookkeeper has noticed.
However, there (hopefully) is a light at the end of the tunnel. I found out from one of my coworkers that applied for the position herself that our manager will make a decision on the new Front End Manager, but after the holidays (oy). I haven't heard of anyone applying but her, and I'm being totally honest, I don't think my manager wants her as FEM. But if he has no other choice, what can he do? I'm sure he'll try reaching out to other stores. So if I can just make it through the holidays, I should be ok.
So my plan is to tough it out going into 2019. My two big New Years Resolutions will be to get a new job and to lose weight. If by mid January (my birthday), I'm still getting scheduled as Front End Manager, I'm going to spend all of my free time working towards another job. If I absolutely have to, I'll stay in retail/customer service. But if my manager continues to postpone his search for a new FEM (after the holidays), I'm either going to put my foot down and request to not work that shift, or I'll be spending all of my free time looking for another job.
Wish me luck. I'm hoping to not make it to my ten year anniversary with Safeway (which would be in April). But if I get put in a better position, I might ride it out a tad longer. Time will tell.
Monday, December 10, 2018
Customer Service at Safeway - Everything We Do, They're Positives and Negatives
Having worked over two years at customer service, I have a pretty good understanding of all we do back there. Sometimes I will do a ton of these in one day and sometimes I won't do it at all (except Lotto--people always come for Lotto).
Lotto: This is the one thing I'm guaranteed to do every time at customer service. I'm actually surprised if I cover a break at customer service if no one comes for Lotto.
Positives: It's a game, and anyone who's worked over a game (amusement park, bowling alley) can agree that there is some aspect of fun to it. And VERY rarely is dealing with a lotto customer stressful. I know enough about the games that if they dispute something I have a good argument to back it up.
Negatives: People that complain about never winning. It's not exactly designed to payout a lot, people. People that play it so often that it gets annoying. People that pay with exact change in cash that could do that very same thing at the lotto machine.
Western Union: This is the one thing I was most apprehensive about when learning customer service. Now that I have it down, it's pretty darn easy. There's always the occasional snag I'll run into (more on that below).
Positives: If I'm having a slow day, WU's help the time go by. Most of them are fairly straightforward, and about half are with customers I help fairly routinely, so they know the drill.
Negatives: Helping someone and another person is right behind them and has to wait a long time to be helped with a quick thing. Also, when snags happen, such as a customer not understanding something, or a change occurring in WU (such as a fee going up). The worst is a customer needing a change on their WU that requires me to call and get their transaction refunded, and send it through again. UGH!
Returns: This is something I was already accustomed to doing as a checker and SCO attendant before customer service. And I didn't mind it at all. But after working customer service for a while, I hate it. People constantly try to scam us by returning items without a receipt which in that case always puts me in a tough position.
Positives: Nothing difficult about it, most of the time fairly straightforward.
Negatives: What I mentioned above. Scammers. I know I've returned items that customers have stolen. There's not a lot Safeway does to help me. They don't set out clear parameters on what I can or can't do refunds/returns on. The more I've worked customer service the more I hate doing returns and refunds.
Orca: Dealing with Orca Cards is one of the easiest things at customer service. Most people will just add money to their card when necessary.
Positives: Like I said, one of the easiest things to do. Plus, it is informative for myself as a fellow Orca Card holder.
Negatives: When customers want to do the monthly pass and are clueless as to what amount they want. When customers have questions about it (nearest Orca/Transit office for example) that I don't know the answers to.
Rug Doctor: Rug Doctors have to be one of my least favorite things to do. I've never used one myself so it can be tough to answer people's questions about it.
Positives: Fairly straightforward, and when people return them it's very easy to deal with.
Negatives: Time consuming, usually makes people behind the person I'm helping have to wait. Also when people have literally any questions about it. I don't know how to use one myself, nor do I have the need to (I don't own, I rent).
Phone Calls: The thing I was most dreading when being trained at customer service. Whenever I hear that "Attention Service Staff, 2, 0, 0" I always have to let out a groan.
Positives: Most of the time it's fairly straightforward. Most of the calls are either for someone else (a manager, DotCom) or are a fairly quick question, often about a product.
Negatives: I don't like talking on the phone. I have kind of bad hearing and have a lot of trouble hearing people through any static or an accent. Also when people complain to me. I've even gotten prank called once. I felt a little violated.
Bookkeeping: My favorite part. Get to handle money, account for it, balance tills, etc.
Positives: Very fun, VERY few stressful moments, get to handle money.
Negatives: When I'm bothered by a customer in the middle of balancing a till or doing something important, bookkeeping-wise, or when a till comes up quite a bit short.
Questions: This is a surprising amount of people that visit customer service. Sometimes it's people simply wanting to know where something is (a product, the restroom), or sometimes it's a customer asking if we have more of a product.
Positives: I'd say over half are fairly straight-forward and easy questions to answer, and usually just take a few seconds.
Negatives: However, there are always customers who want something not in stock, or want us to carry a product, or want a particular item and are upset we don't have it. If it was me in their shoes, I'd either go to another store or be content with getting a similar product.
Money Orders: This is very simple, just ask the customer how much they want on their money order, they pay for it, the machine prints it out for them.
Positives: Very easy, most people know exactly what they want and have the right payment method handy.
Negatives: Before we changed our policy from Cash Only, people that would get upset that we wouldn't take Debit. Fortunately, we do now. Also, people that have no idea what to put on their money order, or the rare occasion that people try to get a refund or get it cashed (No can do, amigo).
Well, that's pretty much all we do at customer (now guest) service. There are odd requests here and there, but this is 95% of it.
Lotto: This is the one thing I'm guaranteed to do every time at customer service. I'm actually surprised if I cover a break at customer service if no one comes for Lotto.
Positives: It's a game, and anyone who's worked over a game (amusement park, bowling alley) can agree that there is some aspect of fun to it. And VERY rarely is dealing with a lotto customer stressful. I know enough about the games that if they dispute something I have a good argument to back it up.
Negatives: People that complain about never winning. It's not exactly designed to payout a lot, people. People that play it so often that it gets annoying. People that pay with exact change in cash that could do that very same thing at the lotto machine.
Western Union: This is the one thing I was most apprehensive about when learning customer service. Now that I have it down, it's pretty darn easy. There's always the occasional snag I'll run into (more on that below).
Positives: If I'm having a slow day, WU's help the time go by. Most of them are fairly straightforward, and about half are with customers I help fairly routinely, so they know the drill.
Negatives: Helping someone and another person is right behind them and has to wait a long time to be helped with a quick thing. Also, when snags happen, such as a customer not understanding something, or a change occurring in WU (such as a fee going up). The worst is a customer needing a change on their WU that requires me to call and get their transaction refunded, and send it through again. UGH!
Returns: This is something I was already accustomed to doing as a checker and SCO attendant before customer service. And I didn't mind it at all. But after working customer service for a while, I hate it. People constantly try to scam us by returning items without a receipt which in that case always puts me in a tough position.
Positives: Nothing difficult about it, most of the time fairly straightforward.
Negatives: What I mentioned above. Scammers. I know I've returned items that customers have stolen. There's not a lot Safeway does to help me. They don't set out clear parameters on what I can or can't do refunds/returns on. The more I've worked customer service the more I hate doing returns and refunds.
Orca: Dealing with Orca Cards is one of the easiest things at customer service. Most people will just add money to their card when necessary.
Positives: Like I said, one of the easiest things to do. Plus, it is informative for myself as a fellow Orca Card holder.
Negatives: When customers want to do the monthly pass and are clueless as to what amount they want. When customers have questions about it (nearest Orca/Transit office for example) that I don't know the answers to.
Rug Doctor: Rug Doctors have to be one of my least favorite things to do. I've never used one myself so it can be tough to answer people's questions about it.
Positives: Fairly straightforward, and when people return them it's very easy to deal with.
Negatives: Time consuming, usually makes people behind the person I'm helping have to wait. Also when people have literally any questions about it. I don't know how to use one myself, nor do I have the need to (I don't own, I rent).
Phone Calls: The thing I was most dreading when being trained at customer service. Whenever I hear that "Attention Service Staff, 2, 0, 0" I always have to let out a groan.
Positives: Most of the time it's fairly straightforward. Most of the calls are either for someone else (a manager, DotCom) or are a fairly quick question, often about a product.
Negatives: I don't like talking on the phone. I have kind of bad hearing and have a lot of trouble hearing people through any static or an accent. Also when people complain to me. I've even gotten prank called once. I felt a little violated.
Bookkeeping: My favorite part. Get to handle money, account for it, balance tills, etc.
Positives: Very fun, VERY few stressful moments, get to handle money.
Negatives: When I'm bothered by a customer in the middle of balancing a till or doing something important, bookkeeping-wise, or when a till comes up quite a bit short.
Questions: This is a surprising amount of people that visit customer service. Sometimes it's people simply wanting to know where something is (a product, the restroom), or sometimes it's a customer asking if we have more of a product.
Positives: I'd say over half are fairly straight-forward and easy questions to answer, and usually just take a few seconds.
Negatives: However, there are always customers who want something not in stock, or want us to carry a product, or want a particular item and are upset we don't have it. If it was me in their shoes, I'd either go to another store or be content with getting a similar product.
Money Orders: This is very simple, just ask the customer how much they want on their money order, they pay for it, the machine prints it out for them.
Positives: Very easy, most people know exactly what they want and have the right payment method handy.
Negatives: Before we changed our policy from Cash Only, people that would get upset that we wouldn't take Debit. Fortunately, we do now. Also, people that have no idea what to put on their money order, or the rare occasion that people try to get a refund or get it cashed (No can do, amigo).
Well, that's pretty much all we do at customer (now guest) service. There are odd requests here and there, but this is 95% of it.
Thursday, January 25, 2018
25 Reasons Self Checkout Sucks and Should be Gotten Rid Of
(At least at Safeway)
1. They freeze, coins jam, they reboot on their own, basically malfunction in some manner WAY TOO OFTEN.
2. After having ours for 6+ years customers STILL don't know how to use them.
3. The SCO attendant is forced to do price checks (lack of courtesy), open the liquor cabinet, or get a replacement item TOO OFTEN, leaving people unable to get help and possibly able to get away with paying for something.
4. People use SCO to scrutinize every price and take up the attendant's time
5. Food stamps still don't work well with SCO. You need to pay partially with EBT? Too bad, you're fucked.
6. They aren't updated enough and have too many design/tech flaws
7. People STILL are coming to SCO and expecting help with all/most of their entire order
8. People who choose to go through SCO sometimes have to wait for assistance because the SCO attendant is ringing up the order of someone they brought from the end of a line at the checkstands. Not exactly fair.
9. There are no rules for waiting lines at SCO. Sometimes there's two, and sometimes there's one. And sometimes people cut, leading to arguments.
10. There are no clear rules for which produce items scan and which don't. Obviously weighed items (bags of cherries, grapes) don't, but large watermelons and stalks of celery don't scan while iceberg lettuce and small watermelons do.
11. We aren't able to check if the machines are low on bills unless we use the round key and physically check, so we can't refill them while it's slow before they run out (when it's busy).
12. Also, refilling machines with money is sometimes impossible (if the customer service person is busy) or at the very least takes several minutes.
13. For stores with a plastic bag ban, the machines are not set up to use only paper bags. The only thing that was changed was adding the "How Many Bags" after hitting "Finish and Pay". Customers still don't know how to use paper bags at SCO.
14. Because SCO attendants couldn't be more responsible, SCO attendants now have to ask people for their birthdays if they are purchasing age-restricted items (mainly alcohol). This is a slight invasion of personal information and can lead to arguments.
15. People do not clean up after themselves, leaving behind bags, coupons, and receipts. If their food spills they don't often notify the SCO attendant and it is a mess for the next customer.
16. Customers often need help all at once, and there's never someone around to help the SCO attendant.
17. Customers still cannot tell if certain stations are open, and will stand waiting like an idiot.
18. People forget their cash back all the time! The machines should warn the customer that they have cash coming, but they don't, leading to customers forgetting their cash basically on a daily basis.
19. Because there's usually a line during peak hours, this makes customers more impatient and forgetful when they finally get to an open station. This leads to them asking for assistance when the SCO attendant is clearly busy, or making a mistake (forgetting to scan an item).
20. People miss out on valuable coupons because they don't see them print out of the Catalina machine and don't know to grab them.
21. If the machine or customer makes an error, it's not really worth it for the SCO attendant to go over EVERY single time, so unless the error is obvious, the attendant will just clear the weight mismatch, which often results in the store losing money.
22. There is no item limit, so if a customer comes over with a huge cart full, this can result in them needing a lot of help, holding up the line, or both.
23. People question prices constantly, holding up the line and only wasting everyone's time. On the screen that asks them to bag their item, it often doesn't display sale prices (especially for produce items), resulting in the customer questioning the price before bagging it.
24. Rules differ for SCO everywhere you go. Some states you can't buy alcohol through SCO, some you can. Some stores allow you to scan your own coupons, while others make the attendant do it. And people can't keep track of the rules.
25. And finally, the SCO machines are the devil and require more care than they're worth. We lose the most money through the checkout process through SCO, so it doesn't in the long run save the store much money by having SCO instead of extra checkers.
1. They freeze, coins jam, they reboot on their own, basically malfunction in some manner WAY TOO OFTEN.
2. After having ours for 6+ years customers STILL don't know how to use them.
3. The SCO attendant is forced to do price checks (lack of courtesy), open the liquor cabinet, or get a replacement item TOO OFTEN, leaving people unable to get help and possibly able to get away with paying for something.
4. People use SCO to scrutinize every price and take up the attendant's time
5. Food stamps still don't work well with SCO. You need to pay partially with EBT? Too bad, you're fucked.
6. They aren't updated enough and have too many design/tech flaws
7. People STILL are coming to SCO and expecting help with all/most of their entire order
8. People who choose to go through SCO sometimes have to wait for assistance because the SCO attendant is ringing up the order of someone they brought from the end of a line at the checkstands. Not exactly fair.
9. There are no rules for waiting lines at SCO. Sometimes there's two, and sometimes there's one. And sometimes people cut, leading to arguments.
10. There are no clear rules for which produce items scan and which don't. Obviously weighed items (bags of cherries, grapes) don't, but large watermelons and stalks of celery don't scan while iceberg lettuce and small watermelons do.
11. We aren't able to check if the machines are low on bills unless we use the round key and physically check, so we can't refill them while it's slow before they run out (when it's busy).
12. Also, refilling machines with money is sometimes impossible (if the customer service person is busy) or at the very least takes several minutes.
13. For stores with a plastic bag ban, the machines are not set up to use only paper bags. The only thing that was changed was adding the "How Many Bags" after hitting "Finish and Pay". Customers still don't know how to use paper bags at SCO.
14. Because SCO attendants couldn't be more responsible, SCO attendants now have to ask people for their birthdays if they are purchasing age-restricted items (mainly alcohol). This is a slight invasion of personal information and can lead to arguments.
15. People do not clean up after themselves, leaving behind bags, coupons, and receipts. If their food spills they don't often notify the SCO attendant and it is a mess for the next customer.
16. Customers often need help all at once, and there's never someone around to help the SCO attendant.
17. Customers still cannot tell if certain stations are open, and will stand waiting like an idiot.
18. People forget their cash back all the time! The machines should warn the customer that they have cash coming, but they don't, leading to customers forgetting their cash basically on a daily basis.
19. Because there's usually a line during peak hours, this makes customers more impatient and forgetful when they finally get to an open station. This leads to them asking for assistance when the SCO attendant is clearly busy, or making a mistake (forgetting to scan an item).
20. People miss out on valuable coupons because they don't see them print out of the Catalina machine and don't know to grab them.
21. If the machine or customer makes an error, it's not really worth it for the SCO attendant to go over EVERY single time, so unless the error is obvious, the attendant will just clear the weight mismatch, which often results in the store losing money.
22. There is no item limit, so if a customer comes over with a huge cart full, this can result in them needing a lot of help, holding up the line, or both.
23. People question prices constantly, holding up the line and only wasting everyone's time. On the screen that asks them to bag their item, it often doesn't display sale prices (especially for produce items), resulting in the customer questioning the price before bagging it.
24. Rules differ for SCO everywhere you go. Some states you can't buy alcohol through SCO, some you can. Some stores allow you to scan your own coupons, while others make the attendant do it. And people can't keep track of the rules.
25. And finally, the SCO machines are the devil and require more care than they're worth. We lose the most money through the checkout process through SCO, so it doesn't in the long run save the store much money by having SCO instead of extra checkers.
Monday, January 22, 2018
Marry, Screw, Kill
One game that's fun to play is "Marry, Screw, Kill". You find three celebrities, fictional characters, etc, usually related in some way, and decide which you'd marry, which you'd screw (have sex with), and which you'd kill. You have to choose one for each. You can play along and see how yours compare to mine. For this game, I'm only going to do fictional characters.
Friends Chicks: Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe
Marry: Monica
Screw: Rachel
Kill: Phoebe
Comment: Monica is very organized and clean and would basically clean everything, so I'd never have to clean. Rachel, especially in the earlier seasons, is extremely attractive, leaving poor Phoebe as the odd woman out.
Harry Potter Girls: Hermione, Ginny, Luna
Marry: Hermione
Screw: Ginny
Kill: Luna
Comment: I'm going based on the books for this one. Who doesn't want an intelligent wife? Ginny meanwhile is described as an attractive redhead in the books, leaving Luna as the odd woman out.
Star Wars Women: Princess Leia (Return of the Jedi), Padme Amidala (Attack of the Clones), Rey (The Force Awakens)
Marry: Rey, TFA
Screw: Padme, AotC
Kill: Leia, RotJ
Comment: I choose each character's hottest role. Padme easily for AotC gets screwed. Rey in TFA is very intelligent and useful. Yes, that leaves me with killing Princess Leia. Oh well. Guess Kylo Ren is never born, haha.
Lord of the Rings Women: Eowyn, Arwen, Rosie
Marry: Eowyn
Screw: Arwen
Kill: Rosie
Comment: Eowyn is brave and stands up for what she believes in, so she'd make a good wife. Arwen... well I don't think I have to elaborate there. That leaves me with killing Rosie, because I neither want to sleep with or marry a hobbit, even a female one.
Modern Family--The Dunphy's: (Claire, Haley, Alex)
Marry: Alex
Screw: Haley
Kill: Claire
Comment: Of course, this is with Alex of legal age. I'd marry Alex because she is so smart, she's basically the whole package. Haley would ok to deal with one night, leaving me with killing Claire, which is OK as she's the oldest (Being their mom and all).
Dexter's Love Interests: Rita, Lila, Hannah
Marry: Rita
Screw: Hannah
Kill: Lila
Comment: Of Dexter's main love interests, the easiest decision was to kill Lila, which he did. Unlike Dexter though, I chose not screw her (haha). I'd screw Hannah because I feel like if I married her she'd poison me eventually. I'd marry Rita because she is a terrific mom.
HIMYM Women: Robin, Lily, The Mother (Tracy)
Marry: The Mother (Tracy)
Screw: Robin
Kill: Lily
Comment: Of the three women that eventually become a big part of Ted's life, I'd marry the Mother because she seems really awesome and *spoiler alert* I'd get to marry someone else once she passes. I'd screw Robin, because hey, why not. I'd have to kill Lily.
Big Bang Theory Women: Penny, Bernadette, Amy
Marry: Bernadette
Screw: Penny
Kill: Amy
Comment: Marrying Bernadette is an easy choice, because she's the complete package. I'd screw Penny, because at least she's hot, leaving me to kill Amy. This one was a no brainer.
Scrubs Women: Elliot, Carla, Jordan
Marry: Carla
Screw: Elliot
Kill: Jordan
Comment: Haven't seen TOO much of Scrubs, but from what I've gathered Carla is close to the complete package and Latina, which I like. Elliot is a bit high maintenance but hot so I'd screw her, leaving me with killing Jordan, who's the oldest anyway.
Jesse's (Breaking Bad) Love Interests: Wendy, Andrea, Jane
Marry: Andrea
Screw: Jane
Kill: Wendy
Comment: Ok, Wendy wasn't a "love" interest, she was just a hooker (and a gross one at that) so that makes her easy to kill. I'd only screw Jane because she is an addict after all, leaving me to marry good mom Andrea.
Game of Thrones Leading Ladies: Daenarys, Cersei, Sansa
Marry: Sansa
Screw: Daenarys
Kill: Cersei
Comment: I'd marry Sansa to keep her safe, she's been through too much in her life and needs a safe, stable marriage. Daenarys is an easy choice for screw. I'd kill Cersei, because, well... that's obvious.
Twin Peaks Ladies: Audrey, Shelly, Donna
Marry: Shelly Johnson
Screw: Audrey Horne
Kill: Donna Hayward
Comment: I'd screw Audrey, because Sherilyn Fenn in her younger years was smoking. But Audrey was too manipulative to want to spend an eternity with. Donna was a bit of a trouble-maker (and liar) herself so I'd have to kill her. I'd marry Shelly to keep her safe from Leo (And Bobby, to be frank).
"LOST" Women: Kate, Claire, Sun
Marry: Kate
Screw: Claire
Kill: Sun
Comment: This was a tough one. If you had asked me for season 2-3, I would've married Claire. But I did this for right as the show ends. Claire is still a bit crazy and probably needed therapy. Kate showed she could be a good mother (For the most part). Sun ends up dying anyway so I decided not to change her fate.
The Walking Dead Women: Maggie, Michonne, Rosita
Marry: Rosita
Screw: Maggie
Kill: Michonne
Comment: I knew instantly who I'd kill, it's the one I'm not attracted to. I chose to marry Rosita because I think she and I would make a better couple, and Maggie would be too ambitious for me.
The Walking Dead Women, Next Generation: Enid, Lydia, Addy
Marry: Enid
Screw: Lydia
Kill: Addy
Comment: First off this is provided all characters are 18, or once they turn 18. I'd marry Enid because she's smart and fearless, I'd screw Lydia because, well, there's a reason Henry has gone to such lengths to be with her. She's probably a freak in the sack. I'd kill Addy, because she'd hardly be missed.
Fear the Walking Dead Women: Alicia, Madison, Luciana
Marry: Alicia
Screw: Luciana
Kill: Madison
Comment: Alicia is hot, and also she's pretty bad ass, so I'd marry her. Luciana is hot enough, but I don't think we'd get along well in the long run, so I'd screw her. I'd kill Madison as the oldest and "SPOILER ALERT" she dies anyway.
Marvel Female Superheroes: Black Widow, Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel
Marry: Captain Marvel
Screw: Scarlett Witch
Kill: Black Widow
Comment: I'd marry Captain Marvel because she's awesome and talented. I'd screw Scarlett Witch, well, because have you seen Oldboy? And I'd kill Black Widow, because she's getting up there in age and already has Bruce/The Hulk. Yes, I'd have to contend with the Hulk coming after me for revenge, but I'd have Captain Marvel as my wife to protect me.
Boy Meets World Women: Topanga, Angela, Rachel
Marry: Topanga
Screw: Angela
Kill: Rachel
Comment: Marrying Topanga was easy, as Cory did it, and Cory and I are a lot alike. I'd screw Angela over Rachel because Rachel is too tall, plus she supposedly is a bit older (If she is the same age as Jack and Eric).
This Is Us Women: Rebecca, Kate, Beth
Marry: Beth
Screw: Rebecca
Kill: Kate
Comment: I'd marry Beth because she is a terrific mom and amazing wife. I'd screw Rebecca (from shortly after Jack's death so that A, she's bangable still, and B, she no longer has Jack). I'd kill Kate, well... you know why. That's right, she's the odd woman out.
Heroes Women: Claire, Nicky/Tracy, Daphne
Marry: Claire
Screw: Daphne
Kill: Niki/Tracy
Comment: First off, Heroes needed more young leading ladies. Anyway, I'd marry Claire as she's one of my favorite female TV characters ever. I'd screw Daphne because she wouldn't mind if I finished fast haha. And I'd kill Niki/Tracy, just because her characters are generally unlikable.
Smallville Women: Lana, Chloe, Lois
Marry: Chloe
Screw: Lois
Kill: Lana
Comment: I'd marry Chloe because she's definitely hot enough to be with for life and she's career driven. I'd screw Lois because she is the hottest one, in my opinion. That leaves me with killing Lana, and let's face it, she has too many issues (possessed, Lex is in to her, etc.)
The Office Women: Pam, Angela, Erin
Marry: Pam
Screw: Erin
Kill: Angela
Friends Chicks: Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe
Marry: Monica
Screw: Rachel
Kill: Phoebe
Comment: Monica is very organized and clean and would basically clean everything, so I'd never have to clean. Rachel, especially in the earlier seasons, is extremely attractive, leaving poor Phoebe as the odd woman out.
Harry Potter Girls: Hermione, Ginny, Luna
Marry: Hermione
Screw: Ginny
Kill: Luna
Comment: I'm going based on the books for this one. Who doesn't want an intelligent wife? Ginny meanwhile is described as an attractive redhead in the books, leaving Luna as the odd woman out.
Star Wars Women: Princess Leia (Return of the Jedi), Padme Amidala (Attack of the Clones), Rey (The Force Awakens)
Marry: Rey, TFA
Screw: Padme, AotC
Kill: Leia, RotJ
Comment: I choose each character's hottest role. Padme easily for AotC gets screwed. Rey in TFA is very intelligent and useful. Yes, that leaves me with killing Princess Leia. Oh well. Guess Kylo Ren is never born, haha.
Lord of the Rings Women: Eowyn, Arwen, Rosie
Marry: Eowyn
Screw: Arwen
Kill: Rosie
Comment: Eowyn is brave and stands up for what she believes in, so she'd make a good wife. Arwen... well I don't think I have to elaborate there. That leaves me with killing Rosie, because I neither want to sleep with or marry a hobbit, even a female one.
Modern Family--The Dunphy's: (Claire, Haley, Alex)
Marry: Alex
Screw: Haley
Kill: Claire
Comment: Of course, this is with Alex of legal age. I'd marry Alex because she is so smart, she's basically the whole package. Haley would ok to deal with one night, leaving me with killing Claire, which is OK as she's the oldest (Being their mom and all).
Dexter's Love Interests: Rita, Lila, Hannah
Marry: Rita
Screw: Hannah
Kill: Lila
Comment: Of Dexter's main love interests, the easiest decision was to kill Lila, which he did. Unlike Dexter though, I chose not screw her (haha). I'd screw Hannah because I feel like if I married her she'd poison me eventually. I'd marry Rita because she is a terrific mom.
HIMYM Women: Robin, Lily, The Mother (Tracy)
Marry: The Mother (Tracy)
Screw: Robin
Kill: Lily
Comment: Of the three women that eventually become a big part of Ted's life, I'd marry the Mother because she seems really awesome and *spoiler alert* I'd get to marry someone else once she passes. I'd screw Robin, because hey, why not. I'd have to kill Lily.
Big Bang Theory Women: Penny, Bernadette, Amy
Marry: Bernadette
Screw: Penny
Kill: Amy
Comment: Marrying Bernadette is an easy choice, because she's the complete package. I'd screw Penny, because at least she's hot, leaving me to kill Amy. This one was a no brainer.
Scrubs Women: Elliot, Carla, Jordan
Marry: Carla
Screw: Elliot
Kill: Jordan
Comment: Haven't seen TOO much of Scrubs, but from what I've gathered Carla is close to the complete package and Latina, which I like. Elliot is a bit high maintenance but hot so I'd screw her, leaving me with killing Jordan, who's the oldest anyway.
Jesse's (Breaking Bad) Love Interests: Wendy, Andrea, Jane
Marry: Andrea
Screw: Jane
Kill: Wendy
Comment: Ok, Wendy wasn't a "love" interest, she was just a hooker (and a gross one at that) so that makes her easy to kill. I'd only screw Jane because she is an addict after all, leaving me to marry good mom Andrea.
Game of Thrones Leading Ladies: Daenarys, Cersei, Sansa
Marry: Sansa
Screw: Daenarys
Kill: Cersei
Comment: I'd marry Sansa to keep her safe, she's been through too much in her life and needs a safe, stable marriage. Daenarys is an easy choice for screw. I'd kill Cersei, because, well... that's obvious.
Twin Peaks Ladies: Audrey, Shelly, Donna
Marry: Shelly Johnson
Screw: Audrey Horne
Kill: Donna Hayward
Comment: I'd screw Audrey, because Sherilyn Fenn in her younger years was smoking. But Audrey was too manipulative to want to spend an eternity with. Donna was a bit of a trouble-maker (and liar) herself so I'd have to kill her. I'd marry Shelly to keep her safe from Leo (And Bobby, to be frank).
"LOST" Women: Kate, Claire, Sun
Marry: Kate
Screw: Claire
Kill: Sun
Comment: This was a tough one. If you had asked me for season 2-3, I would've married Claire. But I did this for right as the show ends. Claire is still a bit crazy and probably needed therapy. Kate showed she could be a good mother (For the most part). Sun ends up dying anyway so I decided not to change her fate.
The Walking Dead Women: Maggie, Michonne, Rosita
Marry: Rosita
Screw: Maggie
Kill: Michonne
Comment: I knew instantly who I'd kill, it's the one I'm not attracted to. I chose to marry Rosita because I think she and I would make a better couple, and Maggie would be too ambitious for me.
The Walking Dead Women, Next Generation: Enid, Lydia, Addy
Marry: Enid
Screw: Lydia
Kill: Addy
Comment: First off this is provided all characters are 18, or once they turn 18. I'd marry Enid because she's smart and fearless, I'd screw Lydia because, well, there's a reason Henry has gone to such lengths to be with her. She's probably a freak in the sack. I'd kill Addy, because she'd hardly be missed.
Fear the Walking Dead Women: Alicia, Madison, Luciana
Marry: Alicia
Screw: Luciana
Kill: Madison
Comment: Alicia is hot, and also she's pretty bad ass, so I'd marry her. Luciana is hot enough, but I don't think we'd get along well in the long run, so I'd screw her. I'd kill Madison as the oldest and "SPOILER ALERT" she dies anyway.
Marvel Female Superheroes: Black Widow, Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel
Marry: Captain Marvel
Screw: Scarlett Witch
Kill: Black Widow
Comment: I'd marry Captain Marvel because she's awesome and talented. I'd screw Scarlett Witch, well, because have you seen Oldboy? And I'd kill Black Widow, because she's getting up there in age and already has Bruce/The Hulk. Yes, I'd have to contend with the Hulk coming after me for revenge, but I'd have Captain Marvel as my wife to protect me.
Boy Meets World Women: Topanga, Angela, Rachel
Marry: Topanga
Screw: Angela
Kill: Rachel
Comment: Marrying Topanga was easy, as Cory did it, and Cory and I are a lot alike. I'd screw Angela over Rachel because Rachel is too tall, plus she supposedly is a bit older (If she is the same age as Jack and Eric).
This Is Us Women: Rebecca, Kate, Beth
Marry: Beth
Screw: Rebecca
Kill: Kate
Comment: I'd marry Beth because she is a terrific mom and amazing wife. I'd screw Rebecca (from shortly after Jack's death so that A, she's bangable still, and B, she no longer has Jack). I'd kill Kate, well... you know why. That's right, she's the odd woman out.
Heroes Women: Claire, Nicky/Tracy, Daphne
Marry: Claire
Screw: Daphne
Kill: Niki/Tracy
Comment: First off, Heroes needed more young leading ladies. Anyway, I'd marry Claire as she's one of my favorite female TV characters ever. I'd screw Daphne because she wouldn't mind if I finished fast haha. And I'd kill Niki/Tracy, just because her characters are generally unlikable.
Smallville Women: Lana, Chloe, Lois
Marry: Chloe
Screw: Lois
Kill: Lana
Comment: I'd marry Chloe because she's definitely hot enough to be with for life and she's career driven. I'd screw Lois because she is the hottest one, in my opinion. That leaves me with killing Lana, and let's face it, she has too many issues (possessed, Lex is in to her, etc.)
The Office Women: Pam, Angela, Erin
Marry: Pam
Screw: Erin
Kill: Angela
Comment: This was a tough one. I almost went with "screw" for Angela. But I think sex with Erin would be more enjoyable, as I am considering the characters, not the actresses. Pam was an easy choice for marry.
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