Finally found a job!

It sure is funny how the day after I posted a blog titled "Job Search Struggles", I got a job!  Yes, after four and a half months of searching, after over 100 applications, I have finally been accepted for a job.  I had a feeling it would happen soon because I had ramped up my job search recently, and I told myself that I had to attempt to get further with any job/company that was willing to have me.  If you read my earlier post titled "Anxiety and Shyness Suck", you'd know I battle anxiety, which makes it tough to get back to people and get a new job.  But I just told myself that this far into being unemployed, I either had to stick my nose to the grindstone or take a job in the retail/service industry.

The job is an office assistant for a company in Redmond.  I get weekends and holidays off (yay!).  The pay is less than what I made at Safeway, but honestly right now I can't be picky or greedy.  I'm going to work there for a while, and see if there's any possibility for advancement.

I'm just thankful this is over, and the main really is because I felt bad about what my parents, sister, girlfriend, and friends had to say about me if someone asked them about me.  I hate making people defend me in any way.  I've already told my parents and they were so happy and relieved for me.  I haven't really told the whole world yet (AKA Facebook), but I'm waiting to do that until after I've told important people first.  I don't want them finding out through Facebook.

I guess I could finish up with advice.  My advice to people out there who are in a similar boat to what I was in.  My first piece of advice is don't give up.  That's obvious, but you have to stay positive.  My second piece of advice is know your limits and what you want.  If you haven't already, you need to determine what exactly you're looking for a in a job, what's a dealbreaker, and what you can live with.  You have a right to be picky, but not overly picky, especially if you're desperate.  I knew what I was capable of and what I was comfortable with, so I stuck to those jobs.  And lastly, realize you have to make sacrifices.  Realize you have to sacrifice some luxuries while being unemployed.  Realize you might have to sacrifice weekends.  Realize you might have to sacrifice sleeping in.

It sucks being fired and suddenly being forced to find a job.  I was fortunate enough that I didn't have to find one right away because I was able to build up my savings while working with Safeway.  You always have to prepare for the worst.  I'm also fortunate I have such patient and understanding people in my life.  Trust me, I did not fully enjoy not working for over four months.  I didn't laze around all the time.  It was a nice break, especially a nice break from retail.  But honestly, I'm excited to get back to work.  I'm excited to learn a new job and do new things.  And that feeling of productivity and accomplishment will come back, and I can't wait.

Feeling Useless

As my job search struggles continue, a feeling of uselessness is coming on.  I am always at home, seldomly with a place I have to go.  I want to find a job really badly, but I have had no luck so far.  Most of the time I stay home, and I do various chores and tasks around the apartment to try to make myself feel useful.  I'll start and clear the dishwasher, cook dinner for myself and Amanda, do laundry, clean various things, and fix various things.  But I can only do so much around the apartment. 

The thing I hate most about not having a job is thinking what others might think of me.  I'm not worried about Amanda, but Lowen my roommate I'm sure despises me a bit for not working for 4 months.  My parents are supportive but I know I'm letting them down a bit.  I no longer work with my sister and I haven't seen her in months.  But all together I hate what they must do when they are asked about me.  They either have to lie or tell people the truth, both of which are hard to do.  And because of my actions they've had to do that.

I feel so bad that everyone my age that I care about is working and I am not.  I am trying every day to find a job.  There's only so many jobs out there I am capable of doing and getting, and only a small fraction of those I apply for give me a shot.  And so far, of that small fraction, no one has given me the job. 

I can't live off of my savings forever.  There are a couple jobs I have in mind that I could go for that I'm 90%+ sure I would get.  They are Amazon, and somewhere in retail such as Target.  I haven't applied for a retail job like Target because like I've said before, I don't want to work in retail again.  I swear my 10 years at Safeway took 10 years off my life.  And I did attempt an Amazon driver job, but it was a hassle to get to, so I quit.  But there is an Amazon/Whole Foods shopper job.  However, my roommate Lowen has a friend who works for Amazon who says she hates it.  So you can understand my hesitancy.

I seem to have gotten a bit of higher response recently, as I am currently in the middle of the hiring process with two jobs.  One I already did an in-person interview for and I am waiting for them to get back to me, and the other I go to my in-person interview tomorrow.  I am crossing my fingers I get one of these two jobs. 

All in all, I really want this feeling of uselessness to go away, and there's only one way to do that.  I know once I get a job, I will feel so much more productive and useful.  Here's hoping I find one soon!

Job Search Struggles

If you have read my blog posts before this you will know I am currently unemployed after being fired.  And almost three months after being officially fired, I still have yet to find a job.  It's not for a lack of trying.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I suffer from social anxiety.  It makes a lot of jobs undesirable and just getting a job difficult.

I know it's not just my anxiety holding me back.  It's also my lack of experience and schooling.  I have an associate's degree, but that's it.  I worked for ten years in the retail industry and so far that's been my only job.  So it's basically impossible for me to get a non entry-level job.

I have now applied for over 80 jobs.  Most do not get back to me.  I am looking on Indeed, ZipRecruiter, Craigslist, LinkedIn, Workstep, and even Facebook.  Even if a company gets back to me, I know it's no guarantee I'll get the job.  My thought process has often been why go through all the anxiety if I'm not going to get the job anyway?  If it's a job that I have any problems with, I'll immediately think of them and just decide the anxiety's not worth it.  For example, if I'd have to drive all the way to downtown Seattle every day to get to work.  What's the point?  However, there have been a few jobs I have applied for that I thought would be near perfect for me.  One of which I came just a step or two from getting it, and I went through a lot just to be told I didn't get it.

With my history in retail, it might seem practical if not obvious to just go back to working retail.  But I really, really do not want to.  If you go to one of my earlier posts on this blog you'll see my complaints about customers.  I hate dealing with customers.  The only reason I put up with them at my last job is because anxiety itself kept me working there.  Now that I am out of retail, I don't ever want to go back.  The only way I would is if I were to work for a retail outlet that would have very little to no customer involvement.  But even then would be a near last resort, because I know retail operations.  They would find some way to get me to deal with customers more than I'd like because I'm good at it.

I did quote on quote "get a job" within the past couple weeks.  I applied for an Amazon delivery driver position.  I went into the hiring process.  I went to orientation and training for two days.  But when it came to the actual job, I couldn't do it.  My biggest concern was the location, which was southwest Seattle.  If I'm lucky it's a 40 minute drive, on top of the 8 hours of driving I'd have to do for my job.  Why go through with it then?  Well I was hoping the location to pick the delivery van up from would be near where the training was (which was a lot closer to I-90).  Boy was I wrong.  But at least I got paid for the orientation/training.

I am willing to do a lot.  I am willing to start at low pay and work my way up (again).  I am willing to drive a bit (to an extent, willing to drive further if my job doesn't involve driving).  I am willing to work long days and overtime.  I am willing to miss holidays, weekends, you name it.

So if anyone reading this has any ideas or offers, I'm all ears.  As I said, I do suffer from social anxiety but once I get to know someone I can be pretty talkative.  It's just hard for me to do certain things that are unfamiliar to me.  If anything happens on the job front, I'll update it here.  I'm still looking and applying and most importantly, I will not give up.