Job Search Struggles

If you have read my blog posts before this you will know I am currently unemployed after being fired.  And almost three months after being officially fired, I still have yet to find a job.  It's not for a lack of trying.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I suffer from social anxiety.  It makes a lot of jobs undesirable and just getting a job difficult.

I know it's not just my anxiety holding me back.  It's also my lack of experience and schooling.  I have an associate's degree, but that's it.  I worked for ten years in the retail industry and so far that's been my only job.  So it's basically impossible for me to get a non entry-level job.

I have now applied for over 80 jobs.  Most do not get back to me.  I am looking on Indeed, ZipRecruiter, Craigslist, LinkedIn, Workstep, and even Facebook.  Even if a company gets back to me, I know it's no guarantee I'll get the job.  My thought process has often been why go through all the anxiety if I'm not going to get the job anyway?  If it's a job that I have any problems with, I'll immediately think of them and just decide the anxiety's not worth it.  For example, if I'd have to drive all the way to downtown Seattle every day to get to work.  What's the point?  However, there have been a few jobs I have applied for that I thought would be near perfect for me.  One of which I came just a step or two from getting it, and I went through a lot just to be told I didn't get it.

With my history in retail, it might seem practical if not obvious to just go back to working retail.  But I really, really do not want to.  If you go to one of my earlier posts on this blog you'll see my complaints about customers.  I hate dealing with customers.  The only reason I put up with them at my last job is because anxiety itself kept me working there.  Now that I am out of retail, I don't ever want to go back.  The only way I would is if I were to work for a retail outlet that would have very little to no customer involvement.  But even then would be a near last resort, because I know retail operations.  They would find some way to get me to deal with customers more than I'd like because I'm good at it.

I did quote on quote "get a job" within the past couple weeks.  I applied for an Amazon delivery driver position.  I went into the hiring process.  I went to orientation and training for two days.  But when it came to the actual job, I couldn't do it.  My biggest concern was the location, which was southwest Seattle.  If I'm lucky it's a 40 minute drive, on top of the 8 hours of driving I'd have to do for my job.  Why go through with it then?  Well I was hoping the location to pick the delivery van up from would be near where the training was (which was a lot closer to I-90).  Boy was I wrong.  But at least I got paid for the orientation/training.

I am willing to do a lot.  I am willing to start at low pay and work my way up (again).  I am willing to drive a bit (to an extent, willing to drive further if my job doesn't involve driving).  I am willing to work long days and overtime.  I am willing to miss holidays, weekends, you name it.

So if anyone reading this has any ideas or offers, I'm all ears.  As I said, I do suffer from social anxiety but once I get to know someone I can be pretty talkative.  It's just hard for me to do certain things that are unfamiliar to me.  If anything happens on the job front, I'll update it here.  I'm still looking and applying and most importantly, I will not give up.